27.10.2019

How I present myself vs How I feel is like living in a parallel universe.
In one world I have it all rehearsed
Smile closed mouth, say something that will make someone else smile without them realizing I’m really in denial, after I lie and say “I’m fine.” I’ll direct a question to them so they take up all the conversation time.

On the other side of things I swear I’ve been cursed.
The grass isn’t greener, it’s quite mushy and all ran over from a hearse
The sun doesn’t shine, and the dark clouds feel quite divine.
Everything is still, nothing seems to move as I continue an endless journey uphill.
The birds don’t chirp they just fly in circles, the flowers don’t bloom, and the population is of who hurt us. 

How I present myself is just so people don’t interrupt me trying to heal.. So I keep everything to myself as I learn how to deal, with.
How I feel is tired, tired of being easily irritated by good graces, sad, and crying on a regular bases.

I wonder how long… How I Present Myself vs How I Feel will be in two different places.

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