I’m thinking about life and I’m conflicted. I’m stuck between I’m thankful and also feeling like I’m not doing enough. I’ve probably wrote on this before but idk.
You’re probably like “bro something is always different to you”, “you can always ‘feel’ something” but that’s real spill.
I’ll probably write about not doing enough separately but to touch bases i don’t know how to execute. Or maybe I do but the uncertainty is the anchor at this time, all the time. Which also allows me to mention I’m ready to “risk it all” in order to experience a life I’m sure I should be living but can’t while being confided to the everyday livelihood agenda.
What if I stopped making time and just became. I’d propel in the direction I feel like I need to go in order to experience a whole different world created by myself. for myself and the comfort for others around me.
The fight I have with my mind (thinking I’m so grand)[in which I always will! nothing in me makes me want to think any less than as I say per usual, I’m created to be experienced] vs the lack of acknowledgement* I receive(as in a simple thank you)[because I know experiencing my existence is a blessing from whomever to whoever].
Nonetheless though I’m thankful. Forever thankful at that. I’m just realizing things and thinking. I’m the internetaunty— and that’s pretty much it. Currently slow and steady is the technique I’m using in order to run the race of life. And I’m building up endurance. stamina. But right now it’s like I’m learning the benefits to staying hydrated(consistent/structured).
S/n: I’m back at a place where I find security in being transparent. For the last couple of years I stopped writing about my feeling in article form but the poems have been rapid but in the same sense the poems where like a safe haven for me and my feelings. A set of words can mean anything to anybody, people who read them didn’t necessarily know what allowed me to create them. That was like a way not to be “embarrassed” (which I’m exchanging for shy/not forthcoming) when it comes to speaking my truth in regards of my “feelings”/emotions. I’m back though. I went back and read a few articles and I’m happy i was able to go back and read a few things from me that really broke certain things down and I know people probably feel the same way since great minds think alike. The point is, the transparent life reads are back.