Internet Aunty


Aquarius Kid

Los Angeles 05 May 2018





16 June 2018

I’ve decided to not only debut my appearances on this page but my short sermons also, since they aren’t long enough for an individual post most of the time, and my independent thoughts. I want to treat this like a true to feeling url diary. I’m a person who gets satisfaction out of progression and regression regarding individuality.


27 June 2018

I’ve re-prioritized what I want to do regarding how I live. I’m happy with how i’ll be portrayed, the negative aspects, and the comparisons. I have never felt this happy to just do what I want with myself, I usually just still do but I’m usually worried or considered how I would be taken. Accepting the freedom to make mistakes while you figure life and yourself out is a feeling I hope you all get to experience. 


02 July 2018

“We Flip Losses to Lessons” – Internet Aunty

11 July 2018

1 of 1 compared to none


12 July 2018

I’m willing more than ever to lose friends, I am not sorry that I can sense I will eventually outgrown my friends who will turn into acquaintances. I think that might be the finishing stages of my growth as a person because now people can’t relate  to me nor will I make them.. I’ve re-birthed myself and I need something new or at less doesn’t weigh me down mentally. People that can no longer help me finish growing and help me gain more knowledge just don’t hold priority to me any longer, not meaning I won’t be there for people who need, would like my assistance but you can tell who wants it oppose to the people who just wants conversation for the sake of having contact with me. I have no energy or desire to waste my energy developing/keeping up connections of no substance.


15 July 2018

PRIDE is the only thing that fits me right now.

Is it really being “cocky” when you can back it up?

I love myself. 


Palmdale 19 July 2018



03 August 2018

To many people abuse the ability to compromise in a relationship by manipulating it into control.


18 August 2018

I’ve been constantly reminding myself it’s no such thing as embarrassment.


Downtown Santa Monica 23 August 2018



09 September 2018

Mac Miller decided to rest in a peace unknown to man on the 7th, it’s been a very solemn, sad day.. I’m not going to get over the fact one/3 of my favorites who kept me up while I was feeling low because he felt low also is now gone. Music is very important to me as you know & he is one of the reasons why… now gone.. “swimming” one of the most beautiful albums I’ve heard In a while probably won’t be listened to in a long time, was given to us by a wonderful soul .. a soul that’s not here physically.. I cherish the times I’ve seen him live .. I sincerely do. I cherish the artistry and the artist.

This shit is sad.

“Mourning for selfish reasons. He’s probably way happier now. I’m think I’m sure. Still hurts tho. gone way to fucking too.”

– Steve Lacy

Lancaster 14 September 2019



Downtown Los Angeles 14 September 2018 



20 September 2018

People should start understanding you can still be sad and also not want to dread in your sorrow.

Let me enjoy my laughs so I can control my cries.


22 September 2018

Why are the statements “I’m crazy, “well you know I’m crazy”, really being accepted when justifying unfavorable behavior we know to be unfavorable. Yet frown upon authentic unfavorable behavior from someone that’s crazy?

What’s crazy?


23 September 2018

I’m trying, I try. Effort.


25 September 2018

It is what it is, and that’s just what it is.


Santa Clarita 27 September 2018



27 September 2018

All I ever aspired to obtain for was comfort, not millions of dollars, not luxurious things, just the ability to be comfortable & accepted by those who love me even if I let them down.. and to hope! They still see the good in me, depending on the circumstances.


28 September 2018

A constant Dedicated Dedication to Dedicate the feelings I’ll probably never be able to express because my words mean much more than my actions.


Los Angeles 28 September 2018



29 September 2018

It’s like I care so much, I don’t care at all.


30 September 2018

Do you “love” me or do you just like me a lot.


You hate that you can’t hate me, and that’s okay. I love you too!


02 October 2018

I think the problem is I’m growing up in different aspects of life and I don’t know how to introduce myself to happyness I need.


Much love to who I was. Even more love to who I’m becoming.


No longer incorporating “if you knew better you’d do better” as a way to measure ignorance. Sometimes I know better than what I decide to do.


03 October 2018

I care about you but I don’t care about losing you because losing you.. I’ve lost myself and I never want to feel like I’ve lost myself because I’ll have to overcome that, not you.


05 0ctober 2018

For every tear shed it is another tear formed.


07 October 2018

Vibrancy radiating through sadness


09 October 2018

It’s good that everybody is “sensitive” expressing their feelings about how stuff bothers them but, nobody is obligated to care.


10 October 2018

I’m proud to say day by day I’m finding a little more happyness revolving around myself while experiencing more inner peace.


12 October 2018

Currently learning: It’s not my fault how people interpret me without asking for clarity to understand me.


13 October 2018

forever is a



14 October 2018

I can’t grasp how a person can be infatuated with you to the point they’ll deny the ability of anyone else having you & also not want you.


16 October 2018

The only person that can disappoint me is myself.


Palmdale 30 October 2018



06 November 2018

I do all this authentically, apologetically, and unconditionally.


I love dancing with the devil because it keeps me on my toes.


You can’t tell me I’m not everything I know I am! + More


Everything is biased.


The kind of person I am really throws people off to the point they don’t know how to deal with me, accordingly, at the very least.


People really turn into what hurt them and that’s such a casualty.


The bias cultural normalities regarding black parenting is just as much of an epidemic as crack in the 80s


Camp Flog Gnaw 2018 11-12 November



25 November 2018

We sad out here. We mad out here. We really sad tho. But we even madder tho. We just the saddest of the maddest, mad that we’re sad.


26 November 2018






Promise to never let the hurt build up to the point it becomes overwhelming to enjoy, joy.


I’ve done a lot of soul searching to cure the hurting.


28 November 2018

You feel different when you can’t feel like you know you want to.


29 November 2018

Do everything with certainty.

Do everything with certainty.

Do it all with certainty.

Say everything, you mean, with certainty.

Be certain.


You know we suffer in silence just to empathize our Strength & Independence which is terrible because it just keeps us in our conscience. Continuous tainted thinking being reiterated among yourself keeps you at a place of despair whether you want to be there or not. 


18 December 2018

Maybe if I express how sad I am I’ll let it all out

Maybe I can cry it out

Maybe misery is lonely

Maybe what if


Los Angeles 19 December 2018 TDE ToyDrive



03 January 2019 

We can’t be sad

We can’t be mad

We can’t enjoy joy

We can’t

We can’t love

We can’t lust

We can’t leave

We can’t

We can’t do this

We can’t do that

We can’t do anything

We can’t

but we will


Symmetric Chaos

deserving undesirables

non – fictional fiction

unexpected predictions

vice versa


A lot of hate, A lot of love

even more lust

A lot of regret, A lot of joy

not enough trust

A lot of thoughts, A lot of thinking

for what


I have a lot of them many feelings, many tears, much hate nothing to dissipate but only reiterate what I felt, all the fears


unconditional love


A strong mind weakens the soul.



Currently treading elegantly on balance beam of peace during this earthquake

and if I fall goes it all

gliding pass the flaws

hitting despair hard

mentally paralyzed while feeling it all


11 January 2019

Whoever said  two wrongs don’t make a right didn’t drive at night

two wrongs actually does make a right

..down, down, down

down memory lane decorated with pain

where the headlights only brighten your tears

with a speed limit to move you forward fast enough to forget your fears

onto a highway with no exits to exit


19 January 2019

Passive aggressive

passionately reckless

purposely selfish

never asking for forgiveness

just acceptance


and if you can’t do that

for me I ask you

to let me be

from here to eternity

in your journey




Los Angeles 22 January 2019



Boys need love too!

They hurt the same as me or you!

They’re drained the same and used for gain

same as me or you!

Boys need love too!

They need reassurance, they need comfort, they need communication too!


Boys need love too!

They hurt the same as me or you!

They’re claim to fame is independence, too

Which is understandable with no dependent to!

Boys need love too!

They’re heart hurts, which pains mine too!


Boys need love too!

Who’s there for trust as time becomes a virtue?

They’re insincerity becomes serenity

As people say and don’t do!

Boys need love too!

I appreciate you!


(s)he loves me

(s)he loves me not

they love me

they love me not

I want them, they want me not

I need them, I need them not

I’m selfless, they’re selfish a lot

I talk, they listen not

I hurt an awful lot

It’s the name of the game

No, No it’s not


The same reason you love me is probably the same reason you hate me.


13 February 2019

I don’t know what people want from me let alone expect from me, and it’s such a sad thing to just observe because in a sense I let them down.

I don’t let people down! I feel as if i’m the best person I could ever be for others and they take advantage of my willing. They take, well they try to take, advantage of MY willing as if it doesn’t belong to me… as if it’s not mine and with that self given entitlement they become insulted when I decide not to be willing with my willing.

Willingness is a noun meaning “ the quality or state of being prepared to do something; readiness“. Truth be told sometimes I don’t even have willingness for myself.

At this moment I don’t even know what I want from me let alone what I expect from me, and it’s such a upsetting thing to live through because once you’ve overcome a point in your life where you begin to develop clarity to move forward…that’s it.


If I’m a reflection of you, believe

I question why you treat me like you do

for I see more than you see in yourself, clearly

I’m confused


15 February 2019

How does one speak what they know yet do not know what they feel


If my past could talk, it would cry

If my cry could talk, it would laugh

If my laugh could talk, It would be silent

If my silence could speak, it would scream

SCREAM – be loud, be angry, be scared, be surprised


RELIEF, tranquility, serenity, peace




Do I really not know or do I just not care

Do I care and just not know why

I do know why I care…

I much rather not have known so I wouldn’t have ended up caring


07 March 2019

A wild concept is sharing your life and all things sacred to you that makes you happy with someone that makes you just as happy..then it’s over and you no longer like any of the stuff you once loved.

Resulting in you becoming lost because what brought you happyness now reminds you of a different kind of pain that you can’t fix right away. How do you just adapt to finding new interest? You become lost because you no longer know what you like so you are constantly confused and no longer enjoy your world.



20 March 2019

Yes, I’ve been slacking and I can’t say I don’t enjoy it. I’ve been putting in much effort and dedication and with that comes weariness… luckily I’ve worked hard enough so far that my words can hold their own weight while I’m not dedicated to them but dedicated to me. I also have so many ideas that I’ve been working on to be brought to life and that’s kind of difficult among itself. Back to my “slack” and I quote because in a sense if you aren’t tired you’re not making progress and that’s not the case to me, over working the brain can cause more harm than any kind of gain that financial outcome could bring. I’m thinking less and doing more, resulting in me nothing having anything to write about since I write what I practice and practice what I preach. I’m getting the hang of me in this evolution of growth called indecisive enjoyment of self. I’ve been just focusing on how to come back better, different, make sure I’m giving something worth what thousands of people take time out their day for. With all this I can say I’m looking for to becoming extraordinary with my words, myself, my world.

22 March 2019

to be sad and mad but okay

things could be worse is what everyone says

I’m at my worse

We aren’t okay, we’re alright

we have a lot of gripes

we aren’t alright, we cry everynight

but it’s okay

things could be worse .. which is what everyone says..

I don’t think I’d mind it

the worse… at least it would be different

something new, something to improve

we’re aggressive. we are aggressive.

it gets better of course

we’re misunderstood, looked over, and put under



Lancaster 13 April 2019


I must write everyday even if I have nothing to say because my thoughts should be heard, feelings should be felt, while cards are being dealt.




Empty feelings, Intuition

Ditch the Dealings

Intuition, Intuition

Follow how you feelings

Blissful ignorance…

Intuition, Intuition, Intuition

Focusing on the unforeseen

Wishing you were guided mentally

Intuition Intuition



Beloved Betrayal, oh we are acquainted so very well

To be without misfortune probably wouldn’t be grand for what is there to stand up to?

Betrayal it’s almost like I need you..

I need to be assured I am not wrong just blind by what could be-should be

reminded, of what won’t be.


Am I confused or refuse to

do I refuse to?

I refuse to… It’s easier that way

Although we cry that way


I love you – I adore you

I don’t hate you – I’ll try to ignore you

It hurts me to accept the circumstances that has become

hopefully one day soon all things will go numb

until the end of time in my heart you are mine

I am designed, dedicated, and driven to you

taken advantage of, disappointed, and derelict too!


I want unconditional everything

I want pure unconditional everything

I want all I ever wanted under no conditions, just so I know it’s mine

To know it’s for me and not to be taken away even if I never meet the conditions it sees the value in me

I want an unconditional everything or give me nothing


Five Stages of Grief

I didn’t allow myself to feel how I felt because I never wanted to feel such unfavorable ways about.

I got angry because I never wanted to be angry with you, how’d you allow me to feel such ways about you.

Thousands of tears to rationalize fears I never wanted to experience.

To feel better comes with feeling pain, I hurt everyday, pains me to think I have to feel better without joy.

I haven’t accepted a thing..

I’ve only grown accustom to those feelings, it’s comfort in those feelings, they remind me of what should be but isn’t. Something I’ll never get again.

Feelings, whether for better or for worse, they’re feelings to let me know I can still feel.