Much thanks to you who submit for being brave enough to allow many to enjoy your words. If you don’t have words of your own I welcome you to submit your favorite poem for others to read.
constantly searching for something that doesn’t want to be found
waiting for the day someone picks me up and takes me away ..
what does it feel like to be loved?
how am I supposed to love someone who will never love me?
Unrequited love is what I see
banging your head on the pavement wondering when you’ll be free… from self hate and denial of love.
one day I will be
ready for love and all that it brings..
but for now I will continue to drown in my sorrow and soak in my pain.
how long will take, for you to find me
It only happens when you are completely ready for the next step. You can tell yourself and make yourself believe that you are ready, but it will not happen until you sit down with yourself.
You think and analyze your situation, think about what would the consequences would be if it was to go left. If you can not face those consequences then you are not ready for change.
Transformation starts from within and brought out because you are literally become a whole new person. New vibe, new energy, new mindset etc.
A caterpillar will stay in its cocoon until it’s ready to fly high like the beautiful butterfly it’s meant to be. They don’t rush perfection
Untouched, unexplored, unsure of what to look for you took control,
Embrace me with your masculine hands, so strong yet gentle,
I am falling in love with you,
Deep emotion, sensitivity, warm sensations, passion and ecstasy,
I crave your touch
My heart throbs when you kiss me
My legs tremble at the touch of your tongue to kiss my breasts
I lose my breath when you look me in my eyes
I feel safe in your arms, I’m impressed by the things you do, you are my inspiration
Sending vibrations, amazing zigzags traveling up and down my spine as you explore my ebony body
I am lifted into a cloud of silence as you begin to enter my gate
What is what we call love
Love…. I don’t really know much about it
Noticing the fake and real love it’s not hard to spot it
Real love is unconditional
Fake love is acceptable
Real love is something like towards your mother or blood brother
Fake love seems to be more of a bother
Real love is something you can actually feel inside
Fake love is something made up on the outside
Loving someone can be painful
Sometimes to the point where it’s unbearable
It’s many ways to define love
But one thing I know for sure is that it’s a feeling you can’t get rid of
ON THE BRAIN
I’m really bad with going through with my dreams, i don’t know. I was born with water on the brain
i like the idea of it and I can go through but the effects affect my rage. I used to hate the cage I locked myself.
Being hurt doesn’t teach you lessons of perseverance or give you strength. It teaches you to how to be hurt.
Hurt from myself more than anyone else.
I need insight the way a garden needs dirt and I need books the way nouns need adjectives and verbs
I have learned that honesty can not be spoken, only perceived
I’ve been judging the way you’ve been judging me
My attitude has changed but I am still the same.
My reflections of my observations and my self esteem.
Painful and elated but I’m great again and my grin is greater. If we are speaking in measurements of inches and feet then I am in deep and I’ve found my treasure
What’s better than a internal bliss that’s forever
An unforgettable endeavor that hurts but I like the pressure.
I can love better. Fallen for oppressors and tripping over pleasure
Grateful and formulated and I am great again and I have faced my errors.
I’ve made bad decisions no excuses whatsoever
I guess I’m saying that I’d rather hurt and become clever from the familiarity than hurt then wish for clarity
There are no guarantees. Look at the levels of jealousy and poverty
Susceptible to mockery but what’s a satire without stupidity.
I’m dying , can’t you tell ?
Little by little my memories leave me.
The ones I’m trying to hold on to the most are the ones of you .
The ones that hold your kiss which stained my soul forever.
The ones that are filled with your warm embrace .
Even the one where you left .
The very one where you carved your way out my heart ,slicing thru veins . Using them as strings to tie a boulder of pain to my ankles as you pushed me in the ocean of depression, watching me drown .
The very memories that gave my this illness.
because I drank way too much and tried to blow the misery away with cigarette smoke.
Now the cancer is killing me .
And I’ve been asked do I believe in angels or what do I see after death .
Truth is the only angel I’ve ever known was you and I’ve been dead since you left .
But doctors say my body is dying and they told me to write to keep from being engulfed in fear.
So here I am , attempting to do something “good” but I’m failing at that too.
I’m not a writer . I’m simply a dying 21 year old with a broken heart, two bad kidneys and even worse lungs .
I guess if you ever read this I want you to know that even though after you left I went thru hell .
I would do it all over again just to fall in love with twice . I’m not desperate for life or a cure for the cancer . I’m desperate for even just a moment with you again. I’m desperate to stretch the memories I had with you into the cosmos making those short moments live eternally . I’m desperate for time to relive them . I’m desperate for you not to forget me …
Please don’t forget me
Because my wishes and my hopes along with everything else this life held for me will die along with my body.
My mine is tiredT of me
You can’t run away from confrontation.
The feelings never voiced, are the ones that destroy you
You can’t be afraid of progression, the fear of others mockery will latch in place
Writing the ugliest of truths always felt safe
Now it just feels like a waste
I know you were that puppet too
Doing what was expected instead of what passions flooded you
After a hundred times of disappointing yourself, you’d think you’d had enough
Stop running away from confrontation.
Your mind is trying to tell you it’s reached its limitations.
It wants to be happy too
4th Avenue and Main
I’ve been told I drink too much .
They say I’m trying to drown my misery and pain in the bitter taste of the booze.
They say that what I’m doing is destroying myself and that being at this bar on 4th avenue and main is me sentencing myself to a personal hell .
Truth is I’m not trying to drown anything , I don’t want to forget or to heal from anything because that means I’ll forget her and I’ll heal the wounds that she left behind. And those are my only reminders that what I felt was real once.
I drink because it distorts my perception of reality I’m able to be anyone , hopefully one good shot will turn me into the person she really wanted all along .
But for now I’ll do my best to be a musician and play the blues from the heart strings she pulled. I’ll be a mirror broken so when I pick up the pieces to view myself I’ll bleed every time.
I’m afraid when I’m sober . Sobriety reminds me that there’s plenty of fish on the sea and that love will come again. Screw that ! I rather sail dead waters and have my heart removed from my chest than to ever have her replaced . I drink to keep her close. I taste her kiss within the sweetness of the rum. I feel her from the warmth of the whiskey .
This isn’t a bar on 4th avenue and Main , it’s simply my residence on memory lane .
God sent us a blessing that blessing got taken away, busy getting distracted from what’s was in front of my face, my eyes used to be teary, now they’re dreamy, I’m rubbing down Stephanie whilst I’m kissing on Mary, something so cheap not many can afford it, back to the story let me tell you what’s important, this blessing,
I could never take it for granted, you’ll realise when it’s too late but never let it get to that point where, you have have no control this could place you in the worst position,
anything I held I made sure I found the balance, this isn’t a joke I spent a year in a circus, talking one to one where shit would get personal, mentally, we were all over the stage, this love for each other will always remain, if we’re being honest, I would do all over, everything I know now,
I will be hoping for the best, I’ll make sure God sees I’m grateful, like here son you deserve this blessing, blessed us with a princess,
I’m on my knees every night, with my queen by my side and our little princess laying down on the bed, she’s so cute,
I don’t have much time here, sorry baby daddy’s gonna have to leave you alone with mommy, God gave me you, promise I’m gonna keep my promise,
I will see you someday baby girl I mean that, mommy loves you’re a daughter of queen, this is something you must always remember, if you wanna stay successful in this life of richness, Gods timing, really need to see outside that frame  look after mommy she’s gonna need you more than ever, I promised I will be your guardian angel, I weren’t around to bless you with a little brother, someone to play with or be your father figure, you’re smart, you’ll understand the decision I had to make, I weren’t around to see make wishes on your birthdays, it hurts putting mommy through whole lot, can’t wait to see you, you’ve grown up smile so precious, you still got that attitude, now you got mom questioning, what would her daddy do? pack his things and leave wasn’t an option, I was scared when she said she’d put you up for adoption, mommy can’t function out watering the plants,
only time I get to see you is when your pictures in my palms, I know we’re both young and mommy wanted to have fun, having a baby at this age wasn’t exactly as we planned, everything was so perfect on paper, imagine this, couple months later, I’m rubbing on her belly listening to your heartbeat, you’re kicking on her tummy, you’re happy to see your daddy,
now I have you laying on chest, burping you until you fall asleep,
I know they’re steady trynna find a breakage, like a robber in the night they’re trynna break in, my love for you was secure since mommy had her morning sickness,
this daddy daughter bond they’ll never break it,
you’re good with your words as well, very articulate only 3 years of age yet so resilient,
mind of your own mommy raised you as a princess, mommy might be strict she’s just teaching you discipline.
My spumoni ice cream
Flavorful to me
Cool to touch
Warm to feel
She was only 15
her mother kicked her out
you know where this leads
either she becomes a drug addicted
sleeping rough on the street
or have a stranger prey on her
like a predictor’s meal
if she was your daughter
go ahead tell me how would you feel
you wouldn’t feel nothing
you quickly walk past her everyday
she kindly asked you for some change
so she could get up out the rain
maybe find somewhere safe
where she can wash herself and lay
but the devils walking with you
so your soul is not blame
on your way home
you saw the same girl
But this time she’s looking kinda different
her face was full of bruises like she’s been beaten
and you know what that feels like
your marriage was abusive
throughout your whole childhood yeah you’ve been mistreated
your father always told you
go to room and take your clothes off
You didn’t know along the way
she experienced something similar
told her mother what happened and
that’s why kicked her out
On that night
you tell me
maybe it would’ve gotten worst
if he never left the room
and her phone wasn’t in her purse
and she never reported
seeing fire coming directly
from a house across the road
her father would’ve tied her up
yeah she lied but that could’ve saved her life
she could’ve been 15 and pregnant
homeless with her father’s child
but that doesn’t bother you
because you know she isn’t family
You chose your life over your daughters
how could you look her in the face
and say you wish you had an abortion
in times when you need your family
it feels like you have no one
its been 9 years since you kicked her out
and she’s never seen you since
apart from when she asked for some change
she was sitting by the bins
that was your little girl there
she was asking for your help
you proved to her you’re nothing but a selfish mother
how could you trust a man
you’ve only known for over a year
over your own daughter
I swear sometimes life isn’t fair
you didn’t even recognise her
when you looked at her face
and saw all the bruises and blood in her hair
after all these years loneliness arrived
you’re slowly dying inside
its been eating you alive
There’s this tightness in my chest
I think my heart needs rest.
giving my time to the wrong people
maybe it was all just a test.
The pain that I’ve endured was like no other. I never thought my life would take a turn like this; Now I’m stuck with
I should’ve known not to put my faith in those who have none.
I have to leave you behind.
I do not need you and I never will
so Please do not look for ny.
If you want to find her
look in your memories.
I do not exist in your universe anymore.
Im losing money and my mind
I cant sleep knowing there may not be a place where i can rest my head soon
I lay awake
I cant sleep knowing i may not have a way to get to school
I cant sleep knowing i might have to quit
All because of money
I cant sleep
gaps between his teeth
like missing information
do he love me too
like i do too
is he orange like me
he shine like i do
Made for each other?
Hell is a place where the mind can go
Nightmares exist before eyes are closed
Fear has a home inside my soul
Memories hold me captive and won’t let go
Love is a place where I feel warm
A blanket from the coldness, shelter from the storm
Your arms an escape, if only for a while
A reminder of how good it feels to smile
Beauty is a gift, a curse just the same
Perfection a demon that knows my name
Obsession a prison from which I can’t break free
Anxiety a thief with my identity
But where am I? Hell is not my home
Surrounded by love I still feel alone
Lost in a place I don’t want to be
Waiting for someone to help me find me
Maybe some day I’ll be set free ..
Not Yet Mine
My hands hadn’t held yours yet
My lips hadn’t tasted yours yet
My arms hadn’t held you yet
My heart hadn’t even fallen yet
But somehow my heart breaks every time our conversation begins
Your face is like a memory of what could’ve been
It’s your smile that makes the pain deepen
The hurt comes rushing back without you even touching my skin
When you ask me if I’m okay, I say I’m fine
Wishing my face and my words would align
You don’t believe me which makes it impossible to let go of these feelings of mine
I’m counting down the minutes until I get off work at 9
Why am I heartbroken over you?
Why is this hurt something I feel like I can’t push through?
You were never even mine to hold on to
But you were always someone I valued
i never can say goodbye
to everything that was built
comfort that was shared
love that was awoken
and it fades
like words unspoken
Something i thought was worth nesting
worth more than anything i have ever came in contact with for him to just be
like the rest
Something worth magic & wonder in our eyes
only to find it was only mythical
For what its worth?
I’m mindful of my mind finding out that it’s not mine because life can be a fine thing either side of a thin line let alone what’s on the inside and who you’ve got each side like dioxide
Puts stereotypes into perspective I’m electing to spit through various mics on various nights you’ll have heard all the talk and the hype tall orders beyond boarders they’ll start to walk when I type
When I spit right it’s either stay fight or give flight like we’re reppin’ a tribe when I tighten my grip on the mic
I’m fearful of bursting into tears that my nears and dears could hear from in here I can feel the leering despite perseverance I’ve had it up to the chandelier had my fair share of despair in a calendar year time to spit more fire than a bandolier
So put your hands up and say yeah
Because life’s not very fair
But it’s life so be prepared to pull out all of your hair and don’t be scared to quit your career and appear in none of wears and austerely compare to those normally revered
I’m at capacity and despite the atrophy my mentality has the audacity to bring up agony and make me rap naturally without asking for amnesty this is not a fantasy but I defy gravity when I weave a tapestry out of all my tragedies that I’ve overcome valiantly but I still live haphazardly just want to rhyme rampantly out of my oral cavity with the actuality that this could feed my family until the end of my mortality don’t need to live elaborately but with the chance of philanthropy along the way
tears of worry run down my cheeks and wet the back of my neck as i lay awake in my bed
pressing my rose quartz crystal against my chest
i think of things that give me so much
pressing it harder
as hard as i can.
and the pressure
i then think
im like a diamond
even through the constant pressure
It’s been a troubled journey.
Filled with lies
And broken promises.
We’ve all been down it before.
I like to call it route “70”.
Because it’s all fun and games down “69”.
But after that
Shit gets real.
You start to question the way you really feel.
Either one or both people are trynna figure out if this was apart of the deal.
There has to be more.
Are built off cultivated disagreements
Are a melting pot of differences in opinions not yet discovered
Those of us on route 70 were in a Situationship
The way you survive route “70”
Is like no other.
Your not alone
One route comes right after another
Consider yourself a temporary passenger
Along for the ride
Awaiting the next find
Your GPS recalculating
And one day route “69’s” love
Will be everlasting
A shadow over that cluster fuck of a ride you had down
Forgiven I forgive you.
I forgive you for breaking promises you never should’ve promised,
I forgive you. For coming into my house filled with love and laughter, Just to end up feeling alone. For making me laugh harder, Loving stronger, For giving my all. For those long late night drives just to stare into the sky, Our minds so high, That I almost felt hypnotized.. I forgive you.
For telling me you love me, Even though your mind wandered into the arms of another woman, I forgive you. For coming back to say she was the distraction, But still choosing her in the end. For showing me what I don’t want in my future, For showing me how to love, I forgive you For teaching me patience. Because now I know you’re not the one for me now, so I gotta keep waitin.
I forgive you For self sabotaging yourself because you felt this was too good to be true, I forgive you For loving another woman, For holding her tighter, Kissing her longer, I forgive you I forgive you for things that were out of your control, And for everything that was. I forgive you for not knowing your worth and choosing less thinking it’s more. I forgive you. I just hope one day you can look back and realize that everything that went “wrong” was just a figment of your imagination, because in my eyes everything was right at the right time. I forgive you.